Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
