Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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