He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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