have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
