apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
