Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize