So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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