I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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