he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
