If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize