No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
