We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
we should paint friendship bongs
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
