i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
He kissed a someone with a penis
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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