the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize