You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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