Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
