Is it normal to miss your booty call?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
