Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
