SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
my liver is dry heaving
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
