Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
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