Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
