I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
