God, you're like boner-b-gone
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
