are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just pynch a tree in the face
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I need a burrito and a hug.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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