So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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