i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize