We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
