So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
