oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
