Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize
