I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Pooping to opera.
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