We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
