I think my vagina is haunted
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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