Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
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