How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize
