So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
