i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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