They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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