His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
