I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
This house was built for laser tag.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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