'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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