So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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