Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
