He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
