yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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