My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
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