Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Randomize
