Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
