just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize