Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
this hospital has no fireball
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
