If i come over, it means nothing
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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