i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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