I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
