The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
