Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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