i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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