The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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