i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You've changed since you got that strap on
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
