I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
