So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
